no sleep.

by brooke marker
(richmond, in)

My life revolved around sleep the day the baby was born because it was so difficult to do. I did not sleep at all in the hospital due to pain and anxiety. That first night I felt doomed. The baby was colicky and would only sleep while being held. That was a major problem because I can only sleep in my bed in the dark. So I had no other choice but to stay up all night holding her. Even when my husband took a turn I would lay in bed miserably awake. At 6 weeks I had to go back to work full time...on zero sleep. I had a panic attack on my first day and finally went to the doctor. Doc put me on xanax to sleep and I had to move in with my mom so she could take a turn getting up with the baby. She was still getting up 3 times for an hour each time. We had finally gotten her to sleep by placing her on her belly so she felt like she was being held.
Now a year later I have my 7-8 hours of sleep back. I gave in and take benadryl AND melatonin to sleep every night. I would rather not be dependent on pills but being miserably sleep deprived was not worth it.

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